What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
