Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
