What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize