ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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