You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
