Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
