he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
