We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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