my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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