Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
