covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
