What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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