Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
