: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
