when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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