who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
