i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
