I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
