with your own penis?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
