its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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