Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
