hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
