Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
