I am spending my child support on dildos
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
