I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
