I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize