is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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