decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
