you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize