I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
