Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
