I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
don't judge my taste in strippers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
