So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
