dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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