Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
