you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
