you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
