he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize