So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
