They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
FUCK WHALES
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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