My underwear smells like fireworks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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