I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize