i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
