ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
