There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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