sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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