Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
