i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize