pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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