:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
