You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
