that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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