He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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