Small penises have feelings too.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize