is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
