oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ugly people sure do ruin things
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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