So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
