I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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