O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
