Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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