My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
