2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
