Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
